Letting Go

SUNFLOWER

Kindness, compassion and forgiveness are all essential human values. Our well-being thrives from these values, along with mindfulness and tolerance.

These values bring people together.

These values create a life in harmony.

Focusing on our differences, creates conflict and separation.

Focusing on what we have in common, brings us together and promotes peace.

I’ve been in social media since 2008. It has been an educational journey both good and bad. I’ve experienced some of the most destructive human behaviors. I’ve learned some very important things about human beings that I could have never learned otherwise. I’ve seen people who preach about spirituality, unconditional love and praying daily, doing terrible things. I’ve seen people who pretended to be a loving friend, invading private lives, then being unbelievably abusive and defaming others’ character in public. These are the predators, the ones who lie, cheat and use gossip to hurt and harm others. And then there are those who participate in gossip, seemingly unaware of the damage they cause while they preach honesty and integrity. I’ve seen it all.

This blog isn’t about all the terrible things that people do on the internet. People do terrible things in real life too. There is a great value in the lessons learned.

My intention is positive. I want to emphasize that no matter what others say or do, we still have a choice. My choice has always been “forgive, forget and move on,” however, it was tough at times.

The main reason why I wanted to write this blog is that some friends are not happy that they’re being unfollowed, blocked or unfriended in social media. Before I elaborate more, I would like to mention that each case is individual. Everyone has his/her own reason to unfriend or block friends in social media. We are all human beings. We all feel hurt or shocked by unexplained actions, even more so on the net because we can’t even find out the real reason behind hurtful actions.

Back in 2009, I never understood why someone blocked or unfollowed me on Twitter or someone else blocked me on Facebook but still wanted to be my friend on Twitter. In one particular case, I was very confused as the person who blocked me had said they loved me shortly prior to their bizarre action. Yet in another case, a person blocked me because I posted my deepest sympathy after an online friend tragically passed away. How could I know this person (who blocked me) had conflicts and dramas with the deceased? That’s beside the point, isn’t it? Am I not allowed to express my sadness when an online friend dies? And yet another weird example where the person blocked me because I called them by their name. Should I have followed them around on the net and keep myself updated about their moment by moment dramas? Why didn’t they privately let me know that they don’t want me to call them by their name? Where is the honesty in friendship? I even saw one person gossiping about me in public timeline. When I acknowledged their gossip, they wouldn’t even say a word to apologize. I must admit I was baffled by all their emotional immaturity. These are just a few examples to show you how bizarre “relationships” can get online. But I have grown.

Humility and integrity are essential to achieve long-lasting success in both personal and professional relationships.

To protect ourselves, we need to develop a life strategy. If we want to avoid dramas and nightmares, we have to build up our immunity. Once you’re immune from the predators, nothing that they say or do will affect you. Keep in mind that these predators are usually insecure, misguided people disguised as socially confident people. Don’t fall in their trap because the trap is an endless circle of deception and cruelty created by their lies. Don’t play their game. They target kind people, thinking kind people are easy prey. Trust your instincts. If you are true to yourself, you won’t be easy prey.

Don Miguel Ruiz’s “Four Agreements” clearly states: “Don’t take anything personally.” This is a very useful tool and an absolute key to personal freedom because you rule your life according to your own values, not according to other people’s opinions. In the final analysis, nothing people do or say about you, has anything to do with you. It is about the emotional baggage they bring with them. In other words, they are dealing with their own garbage. They need to take out the trash from their past. This is very important to understand.

Actions always reveal one’s true character.
Words are not always true.

Observe the patterns. Surround yourself with those who value your worth. And remember, wisdom is knowing what to ignore. You will be free from pursuing unimportant dramas that ultimately will damage or hurt you.

I will conclude with late Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s statement from Real Magic: “They owe me nothing. I expect nothing of them. I will just accept them where they are right now.”

 

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“Speak truth in humility to all people. Only then can you be a true man.”          ~Sioux Saying

Locked Out

On Twitter you can admire beautiful photography and art, learn from scientists, receive advice from well-known professionals, gain insight from the Dalai Lama and the Pope or see what inspires artists and musicians. Twitter offers direct access to the most fascinating people in the world. You can get real-time updates from anywhere in the world, 24/7. Twitter is a global community that never sleeps.

I joined Twitter in 2008. Since then, I’ve built great relationships, interacting and supporting people all around the world, unconditionally. And I’ve met wonderful people on Twitter; my favorite actors, musicians, writers, authors, artists, poets, change makers and philanthropists that I would have not met outside Twitter. I hope the love and respect I feel for my Twitter friends, is mutual.

Twitter is a news and social network. However, there is an essential element missing; the traditional interpersonal communication between Twitter’s management and their (automated) support system.

In the past months and long before, Twitter has been flooded with impersonators, horrible trolls and those selling followers. If you’re the target of impersonation, outright personal attacks, or flooded with spam bot followers, and you choose to file a report, you receive an automated response. In my experience, Twitter doesn’t shut down impersonators, trolls or spam bot accounts.

There is a total lack of communication as a result of non-existing customer service.

It is very important in business to be a master of your own products and services. We (the people) invest our time and energy to support Twitter. Without us, Twitter could not exist. Without us, Twitter would collapse. I think this is very important to understand. Twitter’s Customer Support System needs to take action and that action is going to make the difference. Twitter’s Customer Support System needs to listen to their customers’ concerns or they will never understand the issues the loyal Twitter users are facing. The email responses from the Twitter Help Center should not be automated.

This brings me to the incident I experienced on Twitter.

On Friday evening, June 26, 2015, My Twitter screen said:

“Your account appears to have exhibited automatic behavior that violates the Twitter rules. To unlock your account, please click the button below and confirm that you are the valid account owner. Enter your mobile phone number. We will send you a text message with a confirmation code. Once you’ve received it, enter the Verification code to unlock your account.”

Needless to say, I had to enter my mobile phone number in order to unlock my account. It’s noteworthy to mention that I didn’t have any phone number associated with my Twitter account (only my email address).

Which part of my Twitter feed is automated? Absolutely none. Since Twitter’s Help Center is automated, no one checked the facts.

There are also notable discrepancies between the Twitter Help Center’s procedures and what has actually happened.

1) The Twitter Help Center says: “If you have an email address associated with your account, we also sent instructions to that address. If you don’t see an email from us, please check your spam, junk and social folders.”
I didn’t receive any email from Twitter.

2) The Twitter Help Center says: “Enter your phone number. Please note that unless you have otherwise associated a phone number with your account, we will delete it after verification is complete.” This was not my experience as Twitter didn’t delete my mobile phone number. I had to delete my mobile phone number under “settings”. In other words, If I didn’t check my settings, Twitter would have kept my phone number on file (which is fine if it was private for Twitter only. It isn’t which is the problem. I don’t want to share my phone number with the rest of the world).

Now, how about those who don’t have a smart phone? What if their account gets locked? They have no way of unlocking their account without a mobile phone number as Twitter requires to send a verification code to unlock the respective account.

Twitter disappointed me in the following ways:

1) They didn’t send me an email to unlock my account.
2)The accusation was false (as none of my tweets are automated and I am the sole owner of my account).
3) They require access to mobile phone numbers to unlock (unfairly locked) accounts. When has this become mandatory?

I urge Twitter to establish an active customer service center with actual humans behind the screen. A social media business that is almost completely automated will always have issues because the customers are “interacting live” 24/7. Strong customer service support will give Twitter the power to keep growing and growing.

Namaste!

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“The wicked envy and hate; it is their way of admiring.” -Victor Hugo