Bee a Righty

In the end, I’m not as interested in what you have to tell or sell as in how you choose to live and give. ~Cory Booker

Today, I read a very interesting article: Honeybees use right antennae to tell friend from foe

Researchers reveal that sensory neuron asymmetry affects how bees navigate social situations. It appears that honeybees use their right antenna to distinguish between friends and intruders.

The new study shows that honeybees with only a right antenna recognize and behave in a heartfelt way toward each other. When honeybees interact solely with their right antennas, they are more sociable, positive and interact with each other more cordially. Yet honeybees with only a left antenna go on the attack, even though they are hive-mates. In other words, when they have only their left antennas, they will more likely respond in an aggressive and negative way.

The same study suggests that the bees’ brains are wired asymmetrically, as are human brains. The right and left sides of the bees’ brains seem to perform different functions, like humans’ brains. This new study implies that brain asymmetry isn’t a uniquely human phenomenon after all.

A honeybee’s brain contains only 960,000 neurons whereas an average human brain contains 86 billion neurons. This just shows how extraordinary honeybees are. They are extremely smart. They use their right antennas to navigate complex social situations.

bee and daisy

PHOTO CREDIT: Bees Hive

We humans have a lot to learn from the honeybees.

I bet honeybees would be more civilized in social media. Some people in social media seem to be always on attack mode, whether they do it in public or behind the scenes. They seem to use their left antennas only. Celebrities and those who are friends with celebrities are prone to some ugly aggressive behaviors by others. Low self-esteem, insecurity and a fear-dominated mind-set must have have damaged their ability to use the right antenna.

I am right-brained. I prefer to use my right antenna and I always did. It has always served me well. Just like honeybees, the right antenna is indeed my caller-ID. I can see the difference between authentic and fake friends (those who pretend to be friends). I can distinguish between someone who is sincere and who isn’t. However, I always treat everyone with respect, no matter what.

I wish everyone could use their right antenna. It will always serve well both in personal and professional relationships. But if you can’t use your right antenna, at least be a good listener.

One way to break out of a negative mind-set is to identify the behaviors linked to your fears and try to find out which fears are motivating your decisions (that are ultimately damaging you).

Our actions are always echoed back to us. Choose kindness. If you can’t help people, at least don’t hurt them.

Utilize your right antenna. It can transform your life.

https://twitter.com/LovinShmay

PHOTO CREDIT: Shannon May

“The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom. When a man reaches an absolutely silent state, he roars like a lion.” ~Osho

Social Media Friendships

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” ~Jane Austen

Social media has changed the way we communicate and connect with the rest of the world. The profound impact Social Media has had on our lives, is evident (News, Learning, Interaction, Political Awareness, Activism, Marketing).

I love my Social Media connections and do my best to focus on true friends.

If you have good friends, no matter how difficult life can be, they can brighten your day.

A man’s friendships are one of the best measures of his worth. ~Charles Darwin

Social Networking giant, Twitter, is still my favorite Social Media Channel. I’ve met people from all over the world and age groups.

Some say social media friendships are not real unless you meet in person. I respectfully disagree. Like everything else in life, it depends entirely on the efforts people make.

I consider it a great privilege to have loyal friends. Some Twitter friends have been kind enough to send me gifts.

I received a beautiful greeting card featuring the artwork of the talented artist Baret Boisson.

Fashion Designer George Zaharoff gifted me with a beautiful framed quote
“I invoke positives” in the form of a fabric label. This and other inspirational quotes were selected by George to be sewn into his clothing line.
Also pictured, Zaharoff pour Homme for my husband.

I received some beautiful scented candles from Kathy Ireland. Please also see my earlier blog post: Lite a candle.

STRAWBERRYSHORTCAKE

I received two beautiful Nike agenda books from the fabulous Christina Yow, one for me and one for my husband.

NIKE

The nutritious Zing Bars that I received from the lovely Stacey Fujimura, were absolutely delicious.

Thank you for your generous gifts.
I cherish your kind and loving friendships.

You can follow them on Twitter:

Baret Boisson
baretboissonart.com

George Zaharoff
zaharoff.com

Kathy Ireland
kathyireland.com

Christina Yow
krystynnsg.tumblr.com

Stacey Fujimura
zingbars.com

Sweet Tweets Everyone!

CASA TRANQUILA

PHOTO CREDIT: Shannon May

Keep it positive

“Choose the positive. You have choice, you are master of your attitude, choose the positive, the constructive. Optimism is a faith that leads to success.” ~Bruce Lee

I’ve observed three main character traits that I believe are self-destructive in social networking and building relationships.

1. Cynicism
Cynics are known as suspicious, paranoid and mistrustful of others. Scientists categorize this character trait as hostility. Cynics are not necessarily bad people. They read into people’s behaviors, calling it a gut instinct and being suspicious of even a kind gesture.

Where does all this suspicion stem from? It stems from being paranoid and mistrustful of others and has deep roots in their past experiences. I’ve learned that those with low self-esteem (disguised as confident people) display this character trait.  

2. Lack of self-control:

Some people react to every possible tweet, post and they over-analyze. Some others get angry if they don’t receive a response or if they receive a response that differs from their point of view. Then, they go into the attack mode. They say words that they will regret later, which is unfortunately too late. Most feel ashamed of it but their ego won’t allow them to apologize.

Restraint is very important for online relationships as well as in real life. However, unlike real life, what you say online is forever. Don’t think that those private messages, phone calls, Google hang outs or Skype chats are private.

3. Envy, Jealousy and Gossip

Unfortunately, some people, especially women seem to be driven by envy and jealousy. Some of them go as far as telling lies, gossiping and spreading rumors. Lack of purpose in their lives is perhaps the main reason for such viciousness. It’s self destructive and destroy others who are subjected to bullying. It hurts all parties yet mostly the person who is doing it. Yes, I do believe in Karma.

When you tweet: “Be Kind, Be Real”, extend it outside twitter and apply it in your life. Your words have little meaning if your actions contradict them.

Some friends ask me how I remain positive no matter what happens. I’ve learned that positivity depends vitally how I think. Just like life, positivity is fragile. Take a moment to notice your surroundings in social media and ask yourself: How does social media benefit me and others? What is going right for me here?

“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”~Carl Sagan

Think of positivity like a beautiful color palette; love, joy, serenity, hope, inspiration, interest, gratitude and awe.

If your social media experience doesn’t seem to serve you well, maybe you weigh it down with self-doubt and cynicism. Be open. Be sincere. Be grateful. Be appreciative. Thinking in this manner can ignite positivity and puts a smile on your face. Be sure to take a few moments each day, to reply and interact with your friends. Positivity broadens our minds and outlook. Positivity enables us to attract people whom we mutually benefit from and helps us see unlimited possibilities around us. It makes us stronger to cope with adversity.

Positivity can change your life and it can change your communities. It can create a more compassionate and harmonic community.

More than once, I’ve been asked this question: How do I deal with rude and negative people? My mind doesn’t embrace combat and war like tactics. My mind simply thinks of peace. I don’t de-humanize people who wronged me as my enemies. I rather think of them as unfortunate small-minded people with big egos who are suffering and lashing out. In my thoughts I extend them love and compassion. Even though they tried to harm me, I still find qualities about them that I can appreciate. Their negativity belongs to them, not me. Last but not least, I see them as teachers in disguise. I’ve experienced this in the past year. I still came out ahead so can you. You can disarm the negativity.

“Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.” ~Bruce Lee

Kindness and positivity nurture each other. In my experience, kind people are focused on how they can make a difference and how they can lend a hand. By boosting kindness, we also increase our positivity. We are more compassionate towards others even under adverse circumstances. By helping others you will help yourself. I haven’t met anyone who reached his or her potential by themselves. Connect with others. You’ll notice an increased positivity and in turn will attract positivity. So interact with others everyday no matter what. Open your heart and mind.

MaggiePhoto4

PHOTO CREDIT: Maggie Rawlinson

Poor Service + Bad Coffee = No Thanks!

Every decision we make is emotionally based. We make friends because it’s the inner bond that draws us together, not the words spoken. We purchase a product because it brings us some level of joy.

I had a bizarre, actually two bizarre experiences lately. Some people would call me a coffee snob. I don’t drink much coffee outside my home but when I do, I like to visit my favorite coffee houses. I am not going to name them here and only call them coffee house A and B. Two weeks ago, as I was waiting for my husband to finish his workday, I popped in coffee house A. I drink black, bold, strong coffee. I ordered a cup and before that I asked if the coffee was freshly brewed. The guy at the counter shook his head, nodding as to assure me it was fresh. I sat down, started playing with my iPad and I am sure I would have spit it out if it was not for my new iPad. The coffee was awful. Not only it was not strong, it was at least a couple of hours old coffee. When I told the guy at the register, he just looked at me as if there was nothing he could do.

My second experience in my other favorite coffee house B was quite similar. At this time, I was certain that those who worked at both coffee houses, simply didn’t care whether the customer was content or they were simply saving money for their employer.

One morning, I stopped at another coffee house (which I will call here, coffee house C). There were two smiling, enthusiastic girls behind the counter. I told them that I wanted a cup of fresh, bold, strong coffee. One of them assured me that they would brew new coffee for me. Both were upbeat and very welcoming. Now, this coffee house C is not my favorite coffee place yet I loved the coffee there that morning. Great customer service should never be underestimated. It’s what keeps us coming back.

Next time, when I want to have a cup of coffee, I am heading to coffee house C. I still remember those two girls’ kind smiling faces.

I know now that I prefer coffee with kindness.

Maggie's garden

PHOTO CREDIT: Maggie Rawlinson

Relationships in Social Media

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” ~Albert Einstein

Maggie's Garden

PHOTO CREDIT: Maggie Rawlinson

I love Social Media. I am on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, just to mention a few.

Over the years, I’ve connected with many wonderful people. As someone who has traveled extensively, I enjoy living with “no borders” and exploring new cultures. I have friends from all parts of the world. All of God’s children are beautiful.

We all make choices in life. I choose to surround myself with positive people and those who are fine with the fact that I can have my own opinion and we can disagree respectfully. I strongly believe that respecting others has to do with self-respect.

I don’t have enemies. Simply because I don’t dehumanize others and label them as the enemy. I’ve learned to distance myself from cruel, ego-driven people. Reacting/responding to them only encourages their bad behavior. Fear and insecurity govern the ego. If you meet such people, don’t fuel their dramas because the more you react, the more you’ll attract drama into your own life.

All negativity is a cry for love and compassion. Do not take offense if someone is rude or unkind. It may seem like they’re trying to hurt you. We just don’t understand the personal baggage they bring to the situation. People are doing the best they can, given their circumstances and belief systems.

You may have noticed how one upset person can affect a whole community and how one loving, wise person can be inspirational.

When we bring our positive and loving energy to the surrounding environment, others feel loving and peaceful too.

We can choose peace no matter how others are acting. Anger is temporary. How we respond is our responsibility. Nobody can make us angry or upset without our consent.

We always have a choice; peace over worry and love over conflict.

Over time, I’ve learned that simply observing people without making any judgments can lead to better understanding.

We are not responsible for making other people’s social media relationships work; they are. I do not worry if some of my friends choose to leave. As I grow spiritually, people will either grow and stay in my life or leave.

Sometimes “letting go” is an act of greater power than hanging on.

If you really want to be transparent in Social Media, try not to make quick judgments about others. Adults can act like children. Fighting with them brings you down to their level. Open your heart, send out love and refuse to allow their negative energy into your life.

You don’t need to change yourself in order to have successful relationships in Social Media. You only need to love yourself. Love is within your heart. Don’t seek it outside yourself.

CASA TRANQUILA

PHOTO CREDIT: Shannon May

Are We Spiritual or Physical Beings?

Why do many relationships/friendships not last when they begin with so much promise?

I believe the quality of our relationships with our family, friends and loved ones is influenced by the quality of our lives. How we see ourselves directly effects how we see and treat others.

A true and authentic friendship is formed when nothing is expected in return whether online or in person. It’s the healthiest of relationships. It is pure and simple. No pretense or judgment. Nothing to prove or explain. No one is taken for granted. Both are equal.

A spiritual relationship begins with love, trust and understanding. The bond is pure, and the love unconditional. It warms my heart to have such relationships allowing each other to grow.

When we relate to others on a deeper level, we can maintain a more meaningful relationship. This has nothing to do with our (physical) presence.

My best friend and I have been living far away from each other most of our lives. We respect each others’ individuality. I chose to move away and live in different places whereas she chose to live in the same place. Our friendship is solid. It doesn’t matter the distance or length of the time we have not seen one another. We are always connected. It’s a giving friendship without boundaries. I am privileged to have friends like her. Just knowing that they are on this earth, gives me much joy.

A relationship is a place we go to give, not to receive.
To nurture our soul and spirit.

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Helpful Hints to be an Awesome Tweep

Giving of yourself is the best gift you could ever give people on Twitter. So, let them know how much you care about them with these tips:

1. Show lots of love. Affection and praise can help you build a strong relationship and encourage them. Send them love & hugs. Re-tweet their accomplishments. Be constructive with your feedback.

2. Set a good example. People on Twitter see what you do, what you say, how you handle life’s problems and how you communicate with other tweeps. Try to set a good example with your tweets.

3. Interact. This might mean you give up some of your time and activities, spending time together with your friends is important. Just remember the value of interacting with your friends on Twitter.

4. You can be a teacher, a mentor, a good listener, or just a good friend. Help, support and encourage. Don’t take your friends for granted. Any relationship must be maintained.

Nobody is perfect. Just keep working at being the best friend you can be.

“A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand. Is not the mountain far more awe-inspiring and more clearly visible to one passing through the valley than to those who inhabit the mountain?” ~Kahlil Gibran