Letting Go

SUNFLOWER

Kindness, compassion and forgiveness are all essential human values. Our well-being thrives from these values, along with mindfulness and tolerance.

These values bring people together.

These values create a life in harmony.

Focusing on our differences, creates conflict and separation.

Focusing on what we have in common, brings us together and promotes peace.

I’ve been in social media since 2008. It has been an educational journey both good and bad. I’ve experienced some of the most destructive human behaviors. I’ve learned some very important things about human beings that I could have never learned otherwise. I’ve seen people who preach about spirituality, unconditional love and praying daily, doing terrible things. I’ve seen people who pretended to be a loving friend, invading private lives, then being unbelievably abusive and defaming others’ character in public. These are the predators, the ones who lie, cheat and use gossip to hurt and harm others. And then there are those who participate in gossip, seemingly unaware of the damage they cause while they preach honesty and integrity. I’ve seen it all.

This blog isn’t about all the terrible things that people do on the internet. People do terrible things in real life too. There is a great value in the lessons learned.

My intention is positive. I want to emphasize that no matter what others say or do, we still have a choice. My choice has always been “forgive, forget and move on,” however, it was tough at times.

The main reason why I wanted to write this blog is that some friends are not happy that they’re being unfollowed, blocked or unfriended in social media. Before I elaborate more, I would like to mention that each case is individual. Everyone has his/her own reason to unfriend or block friends in social media. We are all human beings. We all feel hurt or shocked by unexplained actions, even more so on the net because we can’t even find out the real reason behind hurtful actions.

Back in 2009, I never understood why someone blocked or unfollowed me on Twitter or someone else blocked me on Facebook but still wanted to be my friend on Twitter. In one particular case, I was very confused as the person who blocked me had said they loved me shortly prior to their bizarre action. Yet in another case, a person blocked me because I posted my deepest sympathy after an online friend tragically passed away. How could I know this person (who blocked me) had conflicts and dramas with the deceased? That’s beside the point, isn’t it? Am I not allowed to express my sadness when an online friend dies? And yet another weird example where the person blocked me because I called them by their name. Should I have followed them around on the net and keep myself updated about their moment by moment dramas? Why didn’t they privately let me know that they don’t want me to call them by their name? Where is the honesty in friendship? I even saw one person gossiping about me in public timeline. When I acknowledged their gossip, they wouldn’t even say a word to apologize. I must admit I was baffled by all their emotional immaturity. These are just a few examples to show you how bizarre “relationships” can get online. But I have grown.

Humility and integrity are essential to achieve long-lasting success in both personal and professional relationships.

To protect ourselves, we need to develop a life strategy. If we want to avoid dramas and nightmares, we have to build up our immunity. Once you’re immune from the predators, nothing that they say or do will affect you. Keep in mind that these predators are usually insecure, misguided people disguised as socially confident people. Don’t fall in their trap because the trap is an endless circle of deception and cruelty created by their lies. Don’t play their game. They target kind people, thinking kind people are easy prey. Trust your instincts. If you are true to yourself, you won’t be easy prey.

Don Miguel Ruiz’s “Four Agreements” clearly states: “Don’t take anything personally.” This is a very useful tool and an absolute key to personal freedom because you rule your life according to your own values, not according to other people’s opinions. In the final analysis, nothing people do or say about you, has anything to do with you. It is about the emotional baggage they bring with them. In other words, they are dealing with their own garbage. They need to take out the trash from their past. This is very important to understand.

Actions always reveal one’s true character.
Words are not always true.

Observe the patterns. Surround yourself with those who value your worth. And remember, wisdom is knowing what to ignore. You will be free from pursuing unimportant dramas that ultimately will damage or hurt you.

I will conclude with late Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s statement from Real Magic: “They owe me nothing. I expect nothing of them. I will just accept them where they are right now.”

 

Cherokee_proverb

“Speak truth in humility to all people. Only then can you be a true man.”          ~Sioux Saying