Letting Go

Kindness, compassion and forgiveness are all essential human values. Our well-being thrives from these values, along with mindfulness and tolerance.

These values bring people together.

These values create a life in harmony.

Focusing on our differences, creates conflict and separation.

Focusing on what we have in common, brings us together and promotes peace.

I’ve been in social media since 2008. It has been an educational journey both good and bad. I’ve experienced some of the most destructive human behaviors. I’ve learned some very important things about human beings that I could have never learned otherwise. I’ve seen people who preach about spirituality, unconditional love and praying daily, doing terrible things. I’ve seen people who pretended to be a loving friend, invading private lives, then being unbelievably abusive and defaming others’ character in public. These are the predators, the ones who lie, cheat and use gossip to hurt and harm others. And then there are those who participate in gossip, seemingly unaware of the damage they cause while they preach honesty and integrity. I’ve seen it all.

This blog isn’t about all the terrible things that people do on the internet. People do terrible things in real life too. There is a great value in the lessons learned.

My intention is positive. I want to emphasize that no matter what others say or do, we still have a choice. My choice has always been “forgive, forget and move on,” however, it was tough at times.

The main reason why I wanted to write this blog is that some friends are not happy that they’re being unfollowed, blocked or unfriended in social media. Before I elaborate more, I would like to mention that each case is individual. Everyone has his/her own reason to unfriend or block friends in social media. We are all human beings. We all feel hurt or shocked by unexplained actions, even more so on the net because we can’t even find out the real reason behind hurtful actions.

Back in 2009, I never understood why someone blocked or unfollowed me on Twitter or someone else blocked me on Facebook but still wanted to be my friend on Twitter. In one particular case, I was very confused as the person who blocked me had said they loved me shortly prior to their bizarre action. Yet in another case, a person blocked me because I posted my deepest sympathy after an online friend tragically passed away. How could I know this person (who blocked me) had conflicts and dramas with the deceased? That’s beside the point, isn’t it? Am I not allowed to express my sadness when an online friend dies? And yet another weird example where the person blocked me because I called them by their name. Should I have followed them around on the net and keep myself updated about their moment by moment dramas? Why didn’t they privately let me know that they don’t want me to call them by their name? Where is the honesty in friendship? I even saw one person gossiping about me in public timeline. When I acknowledged their gossip, they wouldn’t even say a word to apologize. I must admit I was baffled by all their emotional immaturity. These are just a few examples to show you how bizarre “relationships” can get online. But I have grown.

Humility and integrity are essential to achieve long-lasting success in both personal and professional relationships.

To protect ourselves, we need to develop a life strategy. If we want to avoid dramas and nightmares, we have to build up our immunity. Once you’re immune from the predators, nothing that they say or do will affect you. Keep in mind that these predators are usually insecure, misguided people disguised as socially confident people. Don’t fall in their trap because the trap is an endless circle of deception and cruelty created by their lies. Don’t play their game. They target kind people, thinking kind people are easy prey. Trust your instincts. If you are true to yourself, you won’t be easy prey.

Don Miguel Ruiz’s “Four Agreements” clearly states: “Don’t take anything personally.” This is a very useful tool and an absolute key to personal freedom because you rule your life according to your own values, not according to other people’s opinions. In the final analysis, nothing people do or say about you, has anything to do with you. It is about the emotional baggage they bring with them. In other words, they are dealing with their own garbage. They need to take out the trash from their past. This is very important to understand.

Actions always reveal one’s true character.
Words are not always true.

Observe the patterns. Surround yourself with those who value your worth. And remember, wisdom is knowing what to ignore. You will be free from pursuing unimportant dramas that ultimately will damage or hurt you.

I will conclude with late Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s statement from Real Magic: “They owe me nothing. I expect nothing of them. I will just accept them where they are right now.”

 

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“Speak truth in humility to all people. Only then can you be a true man.”          ~Sioux Saying

Enjoy the dance of life!

“To be wronged is nothing…unless you continue to remember it.” ~Confucius

One of my social and team management strengths is observation. This skill helps me in Social Media.

I feel fortunate to be able to see the good in others. As I often tweet, I don’t look for the good in others, I SEE the good in others. This doesn’t mean that I’ve always been good in trusting my intuition.

Good and bad are part of Social Media just like everything else in life and can’t be avoided. Instead of going against the grain of social media and exhausting ourselves by abandoning our presence, we can see trolls, impostors and negative people as part of a social media cycle. I am aware who they are and what they do behind the scenes. It may take a while yet people reveal themselves sooner or later. I am blessed with a big heart, excellent memory and intuition. I’ve learned that trusting my intuition is very important in social media relationships.

We can all tweet and blog about love, kindness, honesty, forgiveness and karma. However, our actions speak louder than words. Voicing your ideals is fine, but do your actions contradict those ideals? We are what we consistently do, not what we preach. I am a firm believer of universal justice. What we send out, comes back. What we see in others, exists in us.

“Do not do to others that which angers you when they do it to you.” ~Isocrates

Life is full of misfortune; famine, flood, drought, earthquake, corruption, invasion, loneliness and FEAR. Disasters hit us without warning. People are starving and dying in wars around the globe. Family members and close friends can be abusive and exploit one another. Hard work is often rewarded with pennies and betrayal. Despite our wealth of information, ignorance prevails. Money in the wrong hands can be destructive and corrupt. Homelessness is ever present in growing rates. Many people live from paycheck to paycheck. We can’t understand life without embracing misfortune. We must find a way out of the dark and into the light. We can seek our own light which is the source of our power. As the sun shines for everyone, we can shine and let the light of good shine upon us all, even though life can be painful. We need patience and we need to know our purpose and where we’re going.

Along our social media journey, we meet and will meet many people. We meet people who see the good in us and we meet people who are distrustful, jealous and envious. Evil is inevitable. During encounters, the wisest people are careful to avoid confrontations. Restraint is best. Whenever possible avoid toxic people. Make your Social Media encounters as positive as possible.

Everything we tweet, provokes a reaction. Conflict is inevitable. Be sparing and cautious in your reaction. Take a deep breath and count to ten before responding. Remember, Anger is temporary “reaction”. Just imagine the endless Direct Message or tweet exchange if you indeed choose to respond. In this way, you can avoid excess and meaningless conversation. It’s useless to argue. Know when to advance and when to retreat. Don’t slay others with careless words.

“The superior man is slow in his words and earnest in his conduct.” ~Confucius

Social Media friends come and go as the seasons come and go. The ones who stay are your true friends. Loyalty is the foundation of a true friendship. If things are not going your way, be quick to adapt. When your Social Media experience is filled with adversity and everything seems to be against you, remember your goals, your purpose. There will be days you will be disappointed and feel sadness, which is part of being human. When we experience sadness, we have to accept it. All emotions we feel are part of our life. We haven’t learned them. We have inherited them. We control our emotions, our emotions don’t control us. Every emotion has a function and they all contribute to actions and play a role in our life.

Everything that happens in life involves choices. The choices we make change our life. Setbacks are temporary, they become permanent only because we allowed them to be. Change is scary but necessary to move forward. After all, you learn who you are by the toughest of trials in life.

What we have on the inside cannot be taken away nor destroyed by others. Just be bold and be your best self. Don’t yield to trolls. The depths of our character are revealed upon trials in life.

To care for others is to look after them. Help and support your friends, not because you will get something in return. But because it is part of who you are. First, quiet the voices of selfishness and self-gain. Don’t use words such as ‘love’ carelessly. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Think before you speak, as a word once spoken, cannot be retracted. The same is true in Social Media. When you give your word, keep it and mean everything you say. You can only develop sincerity, when you are responsible for your words and actions. Keep in mind that sincerity is not something you can pretend to have. Sincerity comes from your integrity. Be authentic!

We have a lot to learn from bees. Bees don’t compete, they work with humility and towards a common benefit. They are persistent and focused. They lead a life of selflessness and do whatever is necessary to build a happy “community”.

We all aspire to have wisdom. I believe the seeds of wisdom are planted much earlier in life than during mature adulthood. I also believe wisdom grows out of an exposure to adversity early in life. Wisdom is insightful living. So, just because someone is older, doesn’t necessarily mean he/she is wiser. In fact, some of my wisest loving friends are very young.

Animals whose hoofs are hardened on rough ground can travel any road.” ~Seneca

When you’re in Social Media, Let go of ego. When we recognize in others the same human condition we experience, we are on the verge of knowing ourselves. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Life shouldn’t be taken too seriously and perfection shouldn’t be a goal.

Enjoy the dance of life!

PHOTO CREDIT: SHI